I can’t believe today marks 4 years since my breast cancer diagnosis! In some ways it’s been the longest 4 years of my life and in other ways the ups and downs have made the time fly by. As I reflect on the past 4 years, I am sharing the 4 biggest lessons I have learned since my diagnosis, all of which seem to center around change.
1. You are going to continue to change and it’s that change that allows you to find your true self.
The first 6 months after my cancer treatment, I wanted life to return to “normal”. Little by little I realized that it was not possible to return to the life I once knew, because I had changed. I could never be that young hopeful naive woman again and I suffered a great sense of loss and grief at that realization. With time I have come to see change as an opportunity to better understand myself and reevaluate my priorities.
Cancer, pregnancy, loss, and death…each challenge we are faced with is an opportunity to redefine our path as we move forward. By accepting that change is constant, I have been given the opportunity to continually reinvent myself. It is through each of those reinventions from woman to patient, from patient to mother that I find a deeper connection with my sense of self.
2. Life will be filled with moments of sadness, pain AND joy. Honor each of the seasons as they each play a role in your story.
It’s easy to spend the majority of our lives waiting and hoping for the good moments, but what if we took time to honor the tough moments as well. We’re usually so focused on putting the painful times behind us that we rush ahead without acknowledging what we have faced and how we have grown. Without the sadness and pain, we are unable to fully appreciate our seasons of joy. I have come to accept each emotion for what is it and see each emotional season as a valuable part of my journey. Many times this means getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and that is still something I have to work on constantly.
3.Your story is unique and worth sharing
It’s easy to miss the value in our own story. We think we should swallow our experiences and move on in isolation. This couldn’t be more detrimental to ourselves and those around us. It is our stories that make us who we are and help us form connections. Looking back, I see now that I never valued my own story enough to let others truly see me. I lived in a bubble of insecurity.
In the years following my diagnosis, I have been able to develop a stronger sense of self-worth and purpose as I continue to share my experiences with the world. It is also through the stories of others that I am continually inspired and motivated. You have to believe your story is unique and worth telling. You never know who your experiences and reflection may help.
4. People come into your life for a reason and sometimes only for a season.
As I mentioned above change is a constant and people are no different. Everyone moves through life on different paths and sometimes those paths align forming a connection. When I was going through treatment I needed a certain type of support and friendships, different from the relationships and support I now need as a blogger, advocate and soon to be mother. For every season of my life I have found different connections and they are each valuable in their own way.
I have come to accept that people can come and go in my life and it doesn’t change the value they brought to my life at a particular moment in time. I am no longer angry when someone can’t relate to what I am facing, and how could I? I have faced more trauma in my 31 years than many people face in a lifetime. Not everyone can relate to that, and that’s OK. The people that can relate or sympathize are there when I need them and that’s enough. As my life continues to evolve, the relationships I have will have to change as well.
I know this was a long post and more reflective and personal that some of my recent fashion posts, but I hope it brought you some value, insight or inspiration. As I move into my 5th year since my cancer diagnosis and we begin a new season as parents, I know the one constant will be that everything will continue to change.
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