So you went in for your frozen embryo transfer which took all about 30 minutes and now the dreaded wait begins. Typically you will have 9 days to wait before you find out if that beautiful embryo implanted successful in your uterus. One approach is to go absolutely insane with worry and impatience and the other is to not care at all. If you’re anything like us the journey to this point has been long and trying and there is no way you can just stop caring during the wait.  I tried to take a more balanced approach to the wait and it worked really well. Keep reading to learn how the actual transfer went down and how I managed the subsequent 9 days of waiting!

The Frozen Embryo Transfer

The transfer itself is quite an easy process. In the days leading up to the transfer I will filled with of emotions. Working with my therapist and acupuncturist regularly helped me get in a great head space filled with peace and excitement with only a small dose of anxiety and worry. On the actual transfer day I took off work and decided to take a Valium before the appointment. Valium is optional, but I wanted to maintain my calm state and be completely relaxed during the procedure. That Valium hit me hard in the car and I felt AMAZING. I walked into the appointment completely relaxed and ready for implantation.

Meeting Our Embryo

When we got to our room, the embryologist came in and gave us a BEAUTIFUL photo of our embryo that had been thawed. He/she thawed perfectly and there were no issues. Shortly after we spoke to my doctor she gave me a reassuring hug, took some pictures with us and we all headed into the sterile room.

Try Not to Pee on the Doctor

I forgot to mention that I was asked to drink about 24 ounces of water leading up to the appointment. A full bladder helps the doctor more accurately see uterus during the implantation.  Leading up to the day I had been so worried I would pee on the doctor haha. but 24 ounces isn’t that much water when you’re in the moment and all went well. No pee issues. as my biggest worry.

Time for the Transfer

The embryologist put our name and embryo on the large monitor and we signed more paperwork and then my doc got to work. They put the emryo in the tube and easily guided it to my uterus guided by the ultrasound. My favorite nurse, Wendy, was manning the ultrasound on my pelvic but my doctor said she could feel when it was in the right place as well (INSANE). Since we did a mock transfer in advance the actual transfer was completely painless and over in 5 minutes or less. After the placement, the embryologist checked the tube under the microscope to ensure the embryo didn’t sneak back out in the tube.

Then we were sent home!!!!

Waiting….

Embryo Transfer: Rest & Privacy

The day of the transfer was a breeze. I grabbed a Starbucks Skinny Mocha Latte with almond milk, ate some breakfast and fell right asleep. I literally slept ALL day. When I woke up I proceeded to do some online shopping. Sleeping and shopping is there really anything better? I had planned to binge watch TV all day but turns out sleep was what I needed. In the subsequent days I went back to work and my normal routine but tried to eat well, rest when needed and keep my stress levels low.

Let’s talk emotions. That first day I already felt so protective. I knew this little embryo was inside me and I could not stop thinking about him/her. Seeing that beautiful photo of the embryo all made it so real. Did I tell anyone?! Well… yes. I told close girlfriends and my parents who I knew would help us stay calm throughout the entire process no matter what the results. It was SOO insanely hard to not share on social media but I chose to do that so I would have some space and privacy to be in the experience authentically and privately.

Embryo Transfer: Visualization & Journaling

One of the best things I did was start watching embryo implantation videos on YouTube. It may sound crazy, but seeing the human development process really helped me visualize what is going on inside my body. That visualization has been powerful for me. It’s help me keep my mind in a calmer state and it allowed me to focus more on the time needed for development instead of wishing the time away.

Another tool that has helped me is writing to my embryo. I have found it comforting and special to take 10 minutes each day to write to the embryo about what I am feeling emotional and physical and the hopes I have for our family.

Embryo Transfer : Combating Negative Thoughts & Fears

I will not lie, there have fears and negative thoughts floating in and out of my brain. I try to acknowledge the fears and worry but also refocus on my joy and excitement. Spending all 9 days dwelling on worry would not make the process of receiving good news or bad news any better. In fact all that worry would have a negative impact on my body and I didn’t want to add any increased stress during such an important time.

Meditation was been huge for me during the waiting period as well. The Circle and Bloom meditation program I used had specific sessions for each day post-transfer and those helped immensely.

Embryo Transfer: Distractions

The last few days of the wait my anxiety really set it. As the day of the pregnancy test approached the reality really hit. The realization that in 1-2 days we would know if it worked drove me insane. The only thing that helped during those last few days was distraction and the continuation of my mindfulness practices. Plans with friends, a busy work day, errands, or tasks that required my focus where the only things that helped. It also helped me remind myself in these last few days that I would survive no matter the results. I reflected on other heart wrenching experiences and tried to channel the memories of my resilience and strength. I prepared for the worst, but also tried to focus on the potential excitement and joy.

Lastly, remember that whatever you are feeling is OK. Everyone around you will tell you to stay calm and positive but the truth is you are going to feel what you feel. My therapist and fertility specialist both reminded me that I could not control my emotions, only how I cope with them. Hearing those words helped relief some of my stress. It allowed me to focus instead on my coping tools instead of forcing the emotions away. I leaned into the pain, the fear and the anxiety and tried to accept those feelings for what they were. We’re all human and emotions are temporary. It’s OK to feel uncomfortable during this time. Just remember that 9 days will be over before you know it and hopefully you will find out that beautiful little embryo implanted successful.

Unfortunately, some of you know that we miscarried our sweet baby at 7 weeks in early January. While we are heartbroken, we are not giving up I hope. Our friend Jessie has created a way for our comunity to help support our 2nd IVF cycle.  If you are able to give or share our story we greatly appreciate your support.